Attention Singles: Best US Cities for Singles
Guess what? Forbes has declared Denver-Boulder area as #1 in the whole USA! To think, I only live 75 miles south of Denver. Look for the Special Report on the link above (at Forbes home page).
What was the criteria? Percentage of singles, amount of nightlife (bars, clubs, restaurants), culture, cost of living, job growth, and "coolness" (diversity and number of "creative" workers, like writers, teachers, and, as I recall artists).
I speak with singles, and they often ask where can I meet a man or a woman? Well, for those in Colorado Springs, they could go north. Based on the criteria above, the Springs may be limited because we don't have enough college students and we are considered a "conservative" city, one that is not known for diversity, culture, and creative workers.
However, I do think it is quite possible to find someone to date. However, the rub is that it is difficult to find someone of "quality" -- a typical complaint.
So, what is the answer?
First, we have to be people of quality. Like attracts like. We attract what we think about. If we think about lack of quality people to date, that is what we will get.
I was sitting in a local deli last week near a couple of women chatting about, you know what? Guys! While I sat trying to work on a project, I could not overlook or not hear parts of their conversation. One of them was attractive, but I could have told her why she was having problems just by looking at her body language, which does most of the communicating. In fact, I was tempted to tell her (I didn't). She was "gamey". Dating and relationships were a game to her. Who would she attract? Guys who played games. No wonder she was having problems. She needed to work on her character. Get "real" girlfriend.
Second, we need to communicate our excitement, not be a "neggie" complaining about all the "bad" matches. We should not make up fake excitement. But, if we are people of quality and communicate this with excitement, other "cool" people are going to want to be around us. How do you do this?
To "market" yourself, you need to know who you are. Be one of the best products out there. (See point #1). Then, communicate that with excitement to others. Have you ever been excited about something you bought. You told everybody who would listen about it. You focused on all the positive points. You did not focus on the negative ones probably because you did not notice them.
Can you do that with yourself? Or do you focus on your negative traits and beliefs? We all have weaknesses, but we don't have to focus our mental time on them. If you cannot see this, then it is time to work on your self-concept, self-image, self-esteem. How do you like hanging around with someone who puts you down all day? Then, why do it to yourself?
Is this easy or fast? Sometimes, but it takes time. Give yourself time.
Ok, that is enough for today. Thanks for reading. If I can be of any help with your self-esteem or relationships. Let me know. There is so much more to this. Like looking deeply at our identity, values, beliefs, and actions, but I am running out of time.
Max
What was the criteria? Percentage of singles, amount of nightlife (bars, clubs, restaurants), culture, cost of living, job growth, and "coolness" (diversity and number of "creative" workers, like writers, teachers, and, as I recall artists).
I speak with singles, and they often ask where can I meet a man or a woman? Well, for those in Colorado Springs, they could go north. Based on the criteria above, the Springs may be limited because we don't have enough college students and we are considered a "conservative" city, one that is not known for diversity, culture, and creative workers.
However, I do think it is quite possible to find someone to date. However, the rub is that it is difficult to find someone of "quality" -- a typical complaint.
So, what is the answer?
First, we have to be people of quality. Like attracts like. We attract what we think about. If we think about lack of quality people to date, that is what we will get.
I was sitting in a local deli last week near a couple of women chatting about, you know what? Guys! While I sat trying to work on a project, I could not overlook or not hear parts of their conversation. One of them was attractive, but I could have told her why she was having problems just by looking at her body language, which does most of the communicating. In fact, I was tempted to tell her (I didn't). She was "gamey". Dating and relationships were a game to her. Who would she attract? Guys who played games. No wonder she was having problems. She needed to work on her character. Get "real" girlfriend.
Second, we need to communicate our excitement, not be a "neggie" complaining about all the "bad" matches. We should not make up fake excitement. But, if we are people of quality and communicate this with excitement, other "cool" people are going to want to be around us. How do you do this?
To "market" yourself, you need to know who you are. Be one of the best products out there. (See point #1). Then, communicate that with excitement to others. Have you ever been excited about something you bought. You told everybody who would listen about it. You focused on all the positive points. You did not focus on the negative ones probably because you did not notice them.
Can you do that with yourself? Or do you focus on your negative traits and beliefs? We all have weaknesses, but we don't have to focus our mental time on them. If you cannot see this, then it is time to work on your self-concept, self-image, self-esteem. How do you like hanging around with someone who puts you down all day? Then, why do it to yourself?
Is this easy or fast? Sometimes, but it takes time. Give yourself time.
Ok, that is enough for today. Thanks for reading. If I can be of any help with your self-esteem or relationships. Let me know. There is so much more to this. Like looking deeply at our identity, values, beliefs, and actions, but I am running out of time.
Max
posted by Max Stager, MA, LPC, NCC @ 10:06 PM
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