Counseling and Customer / Client Service

Today, I went to get an oil change and my emissions checked (we do that in Colorado for clean air purposes) at one of those drive-through centers. Well, I didn't pass in one category, just by a little.

I asked the guy who tested it what I could do. This seemed like a little problem and could have been testing error. That guy told me that I needed to get a tune up, which I might, but I was in a hurry. Basically, nope, this is the way it is, etc.

Because I don't like to be deterred over little problems and was rushed, I went next door to another chain (one of those that specializes in brakes, but does tune ups). Frank looked at the numbers and said that it may have been idling too long and should run it up and down the street. Then, I should retest it.

Sure enough, it passed this time. I remember the names of the two who really helped me, Frank, at the other shop, and Megan, who ran the second test (and who had agreed with Frank's ideas).

What does this have to do with counseling?

First, I had a problem.

Second, I felt frustrated.

Third, I needed some help now.

How did the first guy treat me? He acted as if I didn't have a clue, that he was right, that this is the way it was. He, basically, did his "job".

Frank, on the other hand, listened to my problem, offered me two solutions (get the "cob's" out and, then, if needed, a tune-up -- he would even throw his emissions test in for free).

Megan, listened when I repeated Frank's idea and cooperated.

Isn't this what I do as a counselor?

The client has a problem, is frustrated, and needs some help now.

I try to get a client in as soon as possible, listen to the frustration and problem.

Then, I try to find the simplest solution. If that doesn't work, I talk about a "tune-up". (Of course, maybe, the person needs an overhaul, but that is the third solution.)

It is up to the client. Let's try the simplest solution first.

While people and cars are not the same, they both need the art and science of what makes them work or not. Knowing how to apply the art (the soft side of mechanics -- Chevy's that idle tend to build up certain gases and listen to the customer; the soft side of people -- they have feelings, needs, wants, etc.; listen to them). The science is knowing how cars work or how people work.

The analogy is limited (I don't view people as machines), but can be useful.

I guess this "came up" (some lingo or psycho-babble) because I had been comparing myself to another male therapist. He sounded much more scientific, focused on the "hard" side (if there can be a hard side to a soft science) of counseling or psychology.

While I have a good grasp of the science of counseling and psychology (95th percentile on the Graduate Record Exam for psychology; was top counseling grad student with my program), I believe that relationships, not just facts and techniques, are helpful for clients. Can I apply the "science"? You bet! I can utilize thinking/cognitive techniques. I can use behavior techniques, too. I can help clients find solutions.

Studies also indicate that techniques are only a small portion (15%) of what helps clients. Listening, acknowledging, and validating are much more effective. One study found that the "softer" side of counseling was more effective in helping clients (67% after 6 months, 33% after 18 months). In other words, the relationship is key to counseling.

I know that stats can be used to support just about any idea, but I have also found that changes in my life were made because of the respect I have for a mentor (because of the way they treat me) and the caring they demonstrate.

Well, this has been a long post so I will leave it at this for now.

Thanks for reading.

Max