Stressed? Ready for the Weekend?
Ah, the weekend. Time to kick back and relax, right?
Yea, maybe.
Some of us will be very busy this weekend. We will mow the lawn, wash the car (and clean out all those papers and trash that have accumulated over the week), finish (or start) the laundry, clean the house, maybe do some work that we didn't get done during our 40, 50, or 60 hours on the job.
Some will sleep in and try to catch up on all the sleep we missed. (The average American, I've heard sleeps around 6 hours a night. Yet, I have heard that the most important sleep happens between the 1-1/2 between hours 6-1/2 and 8. That's when ideas are probably the easiest to remember because it is the lightest times of sleep.)
Some will rush off to go camping, fishing, or hiking, or maybe, drinking, and dancing to the wee hours. They will get some time away.
Do these activities relax us, allow us to decompress, or de-stress?
It depends on the person.
Some of us will do them because our partner wants us to do them, we are so tired we can't seem to sleep enough, or we feel we "should" have a clean house, a clean car, a manicured lawn. Those who "tie one on" will lose a lot of stress quickly until the next morning (when their head hurts because the alcohol dehydrated the brain and all the water we drink hydrates it pressing it against our cranium).
Does that sound relaxing?
Not to me. It sounds stressful.
So, what should we do? Keep going without sleep, not go on that trip, or have a dirty house, etc.?
Maybe.
While many activities provide temporary relief from stress, which is a positive thing (which is why we keep doing them), they don't provide an answer to a long-term or bigger problem.
It is important to ask ourselves -- Why?
Why do I do what I do?
If we do things we don't really want to do or because we feel obligated, that is a different cause of stress.
If it leads to arguments with our partner, friends, or the person who bumped into us and caused us to spill our drinks, it may not be worth it.
If we do it to avoid arguments or to get away, it is a temporary relief. But, it does not relieve some of the deeper causes of stress.
So, what are these deeper causes? Being at a job we detest for a majority of our waking hours and not doing anything about it. Having a relationship with someone we don't like or acting in ways we are not proud of and not taking a look at why.
Most of our behavior is controlled by the following areas:
1. What we believe about the world.
(What is it about? Some with spiritual or religious beliefs look at this area at least once in a while.) Do my actions reflect my beliefs about the world. Do I want to change that world view? Where can I get this information?
We may not want to trust our experience. Our viewpoint is limited, and do we want to believe that there is not enough to go around, that it is a dog-eat-dog world?
2. What we believe about ourselves, who we are, what our identity is.
What is my self-concept and how is my self-esteem?
Do my actions reflect who I truly am? Am I important or not? Am I loveable? Am I valuable?
Again, don't base your answer on your experience alone. Failures are really feedback about what works and what doesn't. If we feel like a failure deep down, how can our actions not be impacted. Won't we choose a partner who is similar, and won't that led to a few arguments and a break up or divorce? Won't we choose dead end jobs? Won't we raise kids who have even more problems than the ones they face already?
3. What we value.
What do we really value? A clean car or a happy family? A manicured lawn or a good relationship? In other words, what is most important? What are our priorities?
We don't have time to do everything we "should" (often, self-imposed or perceived obligations) or could do, but we do have time to do things we truly value.
If we plan our weekend from the top down (our world view, identity, and values)instead of from what is expedient or a quick fix, we will start to become less stressed in the long run.
Why not take an hour each weekend to truly look at these things so we can make better and less stressful decisions. Sure, you are busy and want to relax. And, you can. But take some time to figure out why and how to make your entire life more how you want it to be.
If you want some additional help with these ideas, go here: www.affinity-counseling.com/products/product_vision_to_action. Moving from Vision to Action is a great ebook that makes these changes simple. It's easy to read and use!
Max
Yea, maybe.
Some of us will be very busy this weekend. We will mow the lawn, wash the car (and clean out all those papers and trash that have accumulated over the week), finish (or start) the laundry, clean the house, maybe do some work that we didn't get done during our 40, 50, or 60 hours on the job.
Some will sleep in and try to catch up on all the sleep we missed. (The average American, I've heard sleeps around 6 hours a night. Yet, I have heard that the most important sleep happens between the 1-1/2 between hours 6-1/2 and 8. That's when ideas are probably the easiest to remember because it is the lightest times of sleep.)
Some will rush off to go camping, fishing, or hiking, or maybe, drinking, and dancing to the wee hours. They will get some time away.
Do these activities relax us, allow us to decompress, or de-stress?
It depends on the person.
Some of us will do them because our partner wants us to do them, we are so tired we can't seem to sleep enough, or we feel we "should" have a clean house, a clean car, a manicured lawn. Those who "tie one on" will lose a lot of stress quickly until the next morning (when their head hurts because the alcohol dehydrated the brain and all the water we drink hydrates it pressing it against our cranium).
Does that sound relaxing?
Not to me. It sounds stressful.
So, what should we do? Keep going without sleep, not go on that trip, or have a dirty house, etc.?
Maybe.
While many activities provide temporary relief from stress, which is a positive thing (which is why we keep doing them), they don't provide an answer to a long-term or bigger problem.
It is important to ask ourselves -- Why?
Why do I do what I do?
If we do things we don't really want to do or because we feel obligated, that is a different cause of stress.
If it leads to arguments with our partner, friends, or the person who bumped into us and caused us to spill our drinks, it may not be worth it.
If we do it to avoid arguments or to get away, it is a temporary relief. But, it does not relieve some of the deeper causes of stress.
So, what are these deeper causes? Being at a job we detest for a majority of our waking hours and not doing anything about it. Having a relationship with someone we don't like or acting in ways we are not proud of and not taking a look at why.
Most of our behavior is controlled by the following areas:
1. What we believe about the world.
(What is it about? Some with spiritual or religious beliefs look at this area at least once in a while.) Do my actions reflect my beliefs about the world. Do I want to change that world view? Where can I get this information?
We may not want to trust our experience. Our viewpoint is limited, and do we want to believe that there is not enough to go around, that it is a dog-eat-dog world?
2. What we believe about ourselves, who we are, what our identity is.
What is my self-concept and how is my self-esteem?
Do my actions reflect who I truly am? Am I important or not? Am I loveable? Am I valuable?
Again, don't base your answer on your experience alone. Failures are really feedback about what works and what doesn't. If we feel like a failure deep down, how can our actions not be impacted. Won't we choose a partner who is similar, and won't that led to a few arguments and a break up or divorce? Won't we choose dead end jobs? Won't we raise kids who have even more problems than the ones they face already?
3. What we value.
What do we really value? A clean car or a happy family? A manicured lawn or a good relationship? In other words, what is most important? What are our priorities?
We don't have time to do everything we "should" (often, self-imposed or perceived obligations) or could do, but we do have time to do things we truly value.
If we plan our weekend from the top down (our world view, identity, and values)instead of from what is expedient or a quick fix, we will start to become less stressed in the long run.
Why not take an hour each weekend to truly look at these things so we can make better and less stressful decisions. Sure, you are busy and want to relax. And, you can. But take some time to figure out why and how to make your entire life more how you want it to be.
If you want some additional help with these ideas, go here: www.affinity-counseling.com/products/product_vision_to_action. Moving from Vision to Action is a great ebook that makes these changes simple. It's easy to read and use!
Max
posted by Max Stager, MA, LPC, NCC @ 9:45 PM
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